The Verbal Marathon
Some people who are experts in non-verbal work find writing to be a bit like running a long-distance race. The trick to writing is not so different from running a marathon (going for a long walk or taking public transport to and from the office). Look only a few steps (or sentences) ahead at a time and soon you will be crossing the finish line. Keep your words to a minimum and save your energy for the other work you love.
Here were the final answers from the article we are building on (“You Assume I Know Where to Start?“). Following this copy of the answers are two different examples of how the story would look when completed.
“Where are my services (or products) available?
Our services are licensed and insured within the State of California.
When we deliver and when we can be reached?
As much as possible, our customers manufacturing lines are upgraded and installed during non-obtrusive times, including weekends and after-hours. Our business office is open 7 AM to 5 PM Pacific Time, Monday through Friday.
Why are my services better or needed?
We have access to patents and licenses to systems that other engineering services in California cannot offer. We have been in business since 1992 and successfully installed, upgraded and designed over 100 projects since 2004. Sending your manufacturing engineering out to our company keeps your engineering staff focused on your work and gives you access to the mechanical systems we have licensed.
How do you get started? How long do typical projects take?
(“How” is a chance to set your potential client’s expectations.)
We will need to meet with your project team two to five times, including at least one to two site visits. We need about three to seven weeks to return an estimate to you, depending on the complexity of your project. The engineering and installation of the mechanical systems will be listed in your proposal. Our most common projects run six to eighteen months after our offer has been accepted.”
Lexicon Marathon?
“What?!” We are going to avoid the temptation to use too much industry-jargon or to fall into MBA-speak. We will need to choose how much technical information is specific to our company and when we are simply overwhelming our customer with tech-talk. Think of who you are talking to and how much that company already knows or needs to know to choose to do business with you.
If your client knows your industry, cut to the details needed to start the project. If your client would be more likely to compare and validate your knowledge against other vendors include some specific products or services you deliver. Mention any brands that you are uniquely licensed to sell or install, especially when this is a brand or service that your competitors cannot offer or that your clients ask for by name.
Enjoy the writing (and the run, walk or ride) and here are examples of how:
Work with UsOption 1, inviting, collaborative, smart “At Spectacular Engineering Ltd, we help California-based manufacturers and commercial businesses plan and construct their manufacturing systems. Spectacular Engineering Ltd offers Value-A patented systems and is fully insured and bonded within the state of California. We’ve worked with our customers since 1992 and have successfully put 100 large manufacturing upgrades or installations into service since 2004. We work together with you in the first two to five meetings to accurately plan and estimate your project. As much as possible, our installations are performed after hours to avoid disrupting your current processes. Most large installations are fully operational within 6 to 18 months of our first meetings, depending on the complexity of your systems. You can reach our engineering staff Monday through Friday between 7 AM and 5 PM to discuss your needs.” |
We’ll Work for YouOption 2, bold, confident, trusted “Spectacular Engineering Ltd plans and constructs manufacturing and commercial assembly systems for California-based industries. Spectacular Engineering Ltd is fully insured and bonded within the state of California and is licensed to install patented Value-A systems. We can design and install manufacturing systems that include overhead railing, multi-axis controls, actuators and servos. We can be trusted and have been in business since 1992. Our company has delivered over 100 manufacturing upgrades or installations since 2004. Expect two to five meetings to accurately plan and estimate your project. To avoid disrupting your current processes, installations are usually performed after hours. Most large installations are fully operational within 6 to 18 months of the first planning meetings. Call our engineering staff Monday through Friday between 7 AM and 5 PM to review your project.” |
This Way or That Way?
What were the differences? The client in the left column wants to be involved with your delivery of a product or service should see an inviting and inclusive message. The details, such as types of systems in your designs, can often be left to the meetings, research and proposals.
The client in the right column is validating your company and may be comparing you to other companies in your industry. You may need to include processes by name, similar to a check list, in a less personal fashion. This client will want to see confidence and direct calls to action, such as “Call us” rather than offers of “help” and “collaboration”.
Don’t forget to ask a colleague to edit your writing. Another set of eyes might pick up some topics you missed or suggest you say less and avoid pointing out the obvious.
And a final tip, you can more quickly communicate your brands, products or services by putting these items into a bulleted list, the header or footer of your brochure or website. A designer is a great resource to help you say what you want to say — quickly and efficiently.
Either way we write, this way or that way, we’ve had a strong finish.